January 2024 Movie Log

Can you believe this is the third year of the monthly movie feature? As usual, the full list is on the IMDB; the notes are the source and language.

Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956)

YouTube, original English
Cheesy and cathartic.

Heh: Apparently I recognized Hugh Marlowe from my grandmother’s afternoon “stories.”

The Lion in Winter (1968)

arte Mediathek, original English
I saw this once before, about twenty years ago, and felt I didn’t understand anything that was going on. I’m not sure I understood any better this go-around, but I was at least able to appreciate the rapid-fire insults all the Oscar winners were hurling at each other. The dialog is clever, the sets were excellent, but after two hours nothing was resolved.

…and now I have to read a book about the Plantagenets, to determine if Richard and Phillip of France were really lovers. I resent being assigned homework.

Pitfall (1948)

arte Mediathek, original English
The arte Mediathek starts the year off with eine kleine Auswahl–three films–of Film Noir. First up: Raymond Burr as a private detective turned violent stalker, obsessed with a woman who has a thing for his (married, of course) client. As expected, everyone suffers from their own poor choices except the young son.

As usual, mid-20th-century California feels alien–it’s so clean and safe!–and that disturbs me more than the actual characters or events. But the ending was unjust.

I may have smirked a bit when the main character (Dick Powell) grumped at his boomer kid that his generation didn’t appreciate how good life in the US is, and just wanted stuff without working for it. I am online too much.

River of No Return (1954)

arte, Deutsch
I give this western journey tale a “did not hold up” due to sexual violence. Robert Mitchum saves Marilyn Monroe from being raped, then proceeds to attempt to rape her himself–but this is framed as romantic instead of evil and disgusting. And–no spoilers–the villain’s death was too far outside my suspension of disbelief; it tied into the backstory in a way I appreciate, but the way it came about was ridiculous.

I also have a quibble with the costuming; Monroe wears tight contemporary jeans that were very obviously tailored to her figure, but refers to them as “men’s work pants.” Pull the other one, lady. (Mr Radish noticed that this story takes place a good twenty years before jeans were invented; I don’t know if I am more proud or scared.)

If you can look past that, the scenery shots were excellent, and fans of Monroe will enjoy the scenes of her singing in saloons (a few too many songs for my taste).

Studio 666 (2022)

Netflix, original English
Warning: Graphic gore, raccoon murder.

Broke my own rule about “no horror movies younger than I am” because I really like Dave Grohl. He stars as himself in this story he imagined about the Foo Fighters recording an album in a house where a metal band was slaughtered by their demon-possessed leader thirty years earlier. Despite my distaste for gratuitous gore (started out realistically stomach-turning then grew increasingly comically ridiculous) I enjoyed this film, which at its core is a satire of the rock music industry, but on the surface a comedy of 90s references, with lots of good music bracketing the plot.

Cameos include Lionel Richie and horror-film wizard John Carpenter (whom I have not forgiven for The Fog.)

BRB. Suddenly craving ranch dressing.

UFO’s Are Real (1979)

YouTube, original English
A classic of the genre with artist illustrations, creepy electronic music, witness interviews, and Stanton Friedman with dark black hair. The video I watched was recorded off the TV onto VHS in the 90s, so it was a bit grainy and crackly, but the editing was professional. Better than the Apollo program doc from last month, which I know isn’t saying much at all.

The Promise (2016)

arte Mediathek, original English
This is a film about Turkish Muslims killing Armenian Christians in the early 20th century. It might be possible for some people to feel good about *having watched* it, but I don’t want to meet anyone who felt good while watching it, or while thinking about it, or gave it a one-star review on the IMDB without seeing it. Nearly all of the non-Turkish characters you meet throughout the film–including women and children–get shot, hung, or stabbed, and one of the two Turks who disagreed with the government’s actions is hauled in front of a firing squad.

I am mildly surprised arteDE has not been attacked–physically, or by the Regierung–for streaming this film.

Oliver Isaac–born in Guatemala, yeah, I checked the bios of all the main actors–plays an Armenian Christian who heads off to Constantinople to live with his father’s rich cousin and study medicine, using the dowry of his betrothed to pay the school fees. He’s befriended by the son of one of Turkish generals who leads the genocide, but this doesn’t help him when he’s conscripted for slave labor. He escapes and makes his way back to his home village, marries his betrothed, manages to escape again when the whole family is rounded up…

Christian Bale plays an AP reporter from the US who–and I know how crazy this sounds in 2024!–instead of participating in the mass-murderers, writes articles exposing them and tries to help out the people fleeing for their lives. He’s also the third leg of a (doomed) love triangle; he’s been traveling with an Armenian artist who grew up Paris.

A few escapees are rescued by a French warship. This part is based on a true story.

Hey isn’t that: Zephram Cochrane, as the US Ambassador.

Das Glück ist ein Vogerl (2020)

BR Mediathek, original Austrian
Stumbled across this one in the Mediathek while I was looking for my stories; they got me with a picture of Simon Schwartz (Rudi Birkenberger). It’s a Christmas rom-com; Schwartz’s character Franz is a substitute music teacher in Salzburg whose job and marriage are both on the rocks. One day driving home, he witnesses a fatal car-crash; dead is the 85-year-old Egon was on his way to visit the lost love of his youth, Mali, who is in a care home in a coma. When he picks up Egon’s glasses, Egon’s ghost attaches himself. After ascertaining that Egon is real, but only he can see or hear him, Franz sets out to bring Mali out of her coma and repair his own love story, so Egon’s spirit can move on.

There is a lot of music in this one, both Franz’s rock and roll, and some tender ballads (the title comes from the song that was playing when Egon and Mali first met), and some good physical comedy. The ending is poignant, and it was filmed on location in Salzburg. Fun for me: In addition to the usual scenery, I recognized the Sternadvent market.

Sweet and easy, like Salzburger Nockerl. If I watch serious films every day, I’ll go madder than I already am.

Leo (2023)

Netflix, original English
Surprisingly good, despite being “only on Netflix!” and I’m giving the credit for that to Robert Smigel, who wrote for SNL when I was young and it was funny.

The Electrical Life of Louis Wain (2021)

BR Mediathek, Deutsch
Warning: His first cat dies.
The German title was Die wundersame Welt des Louis Wain, the “miraculous” world, so I was unprepared for how sad this film made me feel.

I can’t really write about this right now. Maybe I’ll come back to it later.

Things to Come (1936)

YouTube, original English
TBH, I don’t think I understood this one, an HG Wells story about a civilization that was rebuilt by a technologically superior culture after a great war. The poor audio track didn’t help; several main characters were modulated so poorly I couldn’t understand a word they said. The special effects were incredible, but maybe I should have read the book instead.

Land of the Pharaohs (1955)

arte, Deutsch
According to Poseidon, enthralled by Dewey Martin (who isn’t?!), this Howard Hawks historical costume drama was a box-office flop. On a late-early 21st-century Friday night, with a beer and a cat, this tale of hubris and grandeur was extremely enjoyable. Excellent costumes and sets, obvious villains, likeable heroes, satisfying ending.

My main negative critique point is the unflattering grey-face makeup painted onto Joan Collins. I know “having your colors done” hadn’t been invented yet, but no one in the makeup or costume department thought about harmonizing with her natural skin tone, and they should have. She looks like a bleepin’ dead alien.

8MM (1999)

Netflix, original English
Content Warning: Extreme violence against women. The sex scenes are as bad as Angel Heart.

I had a vague memory of seeing this one when it was first released to DVD, but falling asleep about halfway through. Nicholas Cage is a private detective hired by a rich widow to investigate a snuff film she found in her husband’s vault, and he descends slowly into a violent and disgusting pornography underworld, led by a very cute Joaquin Phoenix (who reminds me of someone I was close to at the time the film was made, but who has vanished), who suffers a bad end. As do the villains, at least.

Another film that runs twenty minutes past a natural story ending, but the two “good guy” characters were well-written and well-played, and the murdered girl’s mother was also sympathetic. But I hate myself for watching this one.

Note that an R rating in 1999 would have gotten an X rating in 1987. And today the sorts of films that horrified Cage’s character are getting streamed directly into hand-held devices, and not only in the privacy of one’s own hovel.

The Other Side of the Wind (2018)

Netflix, original English
As long as I’m disgusted and disillusioned, let’s watch some sausage being made! Orson Welles’ last film, completed and released posthumously, about the last day of a director’s life–mostly his 70th birthday party, with cast, crew, studio execs, and film students. It’s set up as a “documentary” cobbled together from the footage gathered by the film students, with clips of the film they had wrapped being shown to the assembled company. It switches back and forth between color and B&W, many scenes are only a second long, and half the characters don’t have names, so it’s an extremely confusing and annoying experience.

The film-within-the-film is terrible; it’s basically Welles’ wife walking around nude doing strange and violent things with a young leading man that the director was secretly itching to bang. The casting of actual director John Huston as the director was kind of brilliant, but for two hours I wondered WTF I was watching. It was only a few days later that I wondered if Welles was criticizing the industry (they don’t seem to have noticed). Fun quote, from a random party-goer: “If the audience can’t get it then what’s the point of even going to the movie?” (I was reminded of Sprængfarlig Bombe; the difference is that film served the audience.)

Bavarian Connection: There’s a scene in the beginning where a scriptwriter just starts speaking German at everyone fumbling around the studio lot. Tonio Selwart was born in Wartenberg, literally just down the road from here, studied theater after his WWI service and became a director, then moved to the US in 1930. He’s also in The Barefoot Contessa.

Appaloosa (2008)

arte, Deutsch
Content Warning: Horse murder
Ed Harris stars in a western he wrote and directed. It starts out as the usual “gunslinger comes to town to clean it up, falls in love with a widow” story, but changes up about halfway through, as the villain (Jeremy Irons, whom I didn’t recognize) escapes the noose and buys up the whole town.

Ultimately, I think the film was about the relationship between the sheriff and his right-hand man (Viggo Mortensen), and how it changed when a woman entered their lives. She didn’t really come between them, but the friendship is altered.

This might be the only movie about male friendships that I have seen that was made in this century. The rest all seem to be from the 1950s. Hrm.

Of Human Bondage (1934)

arte Mediathek, original English
One of the Film Noir features, but it didn’t feel very Noir. There was no crime, just a selfish bitch (Bette Davis, sporting a terrible fake accent) milking a man (Leslie Howard) she’d friend-zoned for every last penny he had while ruining his relationships with other (kinder, prettier) women. The film is based on the W. Somerset Maugham novel that I have not read, but definitely should have been assigned in high school, and snuck in just under the enactment of the Motion Picture Censorship Code, so there’s racy bits and nude paintings. But the whole film was just depressing, possibly because I saw the same plot and characters get played out in real life several times in the 1990s and early 2000s.

The version shown on arte contains the fascist seal of approval, though, so at least I can appreciate the authenticity of the restoration.